Blighted

I think my heart knew it
way before the inner machinations of my mind
could work out the truth.
But that doesn’t matter anymore.

Not after the constricting pain
of a shell crumpling in on itself,
shedding the crimson, jelly-like tissue
for something no larger than a pea.

Not after seeing the nothingness
in the abyss of my womb,
feeling the emptiness scorched forever into my bones,
leaving just random bouts of inexplicable sadness.

I think.
I think.
I think I already loved you
even if we weren’t meant to meet just yet.

Photo by João Silas on Unsplash

Author’s note regarding the piece: With abortions, so many people assume it’s an easy decision. But I know that with that decision can come with its own grief. That is what I wrote about.

Carissa Cancel grew up on the south shore of Long Island and is currently based out of a small town in Nassau County, NY. When not lost in daydreams and musings of her next short story, Carissa can be found with a book pressed against her nose or devouring a fourth cup of coffee. As an aspiring writer, the queer Latinx covers the good, the bad, and the extremely personal happenings of life quickly approaching 30. Carissa can be found on Instagram at @cm.cancel.