Study on Beauty
by Gayatri Rajan, Regular Contributor
//girl
Because I am a girl, I learn beauty quick,
whisper perfect wings around my eyes. I give myself
bloodred lips, the kind that you could picture pouting
but never shouting. I sit at a mirror,
imagine smashing the mirror, settle
for tracing my face. I learn to let my flame flare
into kiss. To be a flicker, careful that heart
doesn’t singe. I cannot breathe sometimes. The men
on the subway say why won’t you smile, you’re prettier
that way. I marionette. I machinery. Listen– in New York,
a girl dies and they call it the most beautiful
suicide, as if her fingers unsmashed
are a miracle. As if her demons could ever be gorgeous,
her pearls a noose in her fingers: bare-ankle
broken-spine regret, her body an object,
an icon, beautiful suddenly, by force.
//girl: erased
I am a girl, I learn quick,
whisper around myself
bloodred picture
shouting mirror
imagine smashing , settle
learn
kiss. To be careful
I cannot breathe .
smile, you’re prettier
marionette.
a girl dies beautiful
her fingers
a miracle. her demons gorgeous
pearls : bare-ankle
body ,
beautiful force
